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Posted by Chris Emard Mar 09, 2021 With 0 Comment
As we envision a living environment that doesn’t include a cracked cement floor, or walls consisting of plain concrete, partially finished drywall, and junk piled on shelves— essentially providing your basement space with the less than inspiring ‘contemporary garage sale’ style of décor, it’s important to realize the route to escaping this nightmare will run through the ceiling.
Posted by Chris Emard on January 5, 2021 With 0 Comment
You could hire the best, most experienced, most endearing, and attentive-to-detail type carpenter in the world, but if their nickname isn’t Kreskin, or if they don’t respond to “the amazing,” and if they didn’t host a mentalist TV show during the 1970s, then there’s no bloody way this well-intentioned hire is going to be able to read your mind.
Posted by Chris Emard on January 12, 2021 With 0 Comment
“The way to a contractor’s heart is through their stomach.”
Well— I think that’s how the saying goes.
Regardless, every Friday, while our backyard deck renovation, which was pretty extensive, was under construction, I’d cook the fellows up some Italian sausage on the barbecue at lunch hour, as kind of a thank you for a good week’s work.
Posted by Chris Emard on December 22, 2020 With 0 Comment
Due to you failing to make the short list of returnees to Mrs. Sponsky’s hot-yoga class, and with there being little to watch on Netflix until HBO returns with season two of The Queen’s Gambit, escaping the doldrums of another COVID-19 winter might be best achieved by dialing in your radio to 70s rock, setting the coffee maker to its 10-cup potential, and dipping your paint brush into a can of tinted eggshell.
Posted by Chris Emard on Mar 16, 2021
Neanderthal: an archaic human species, possessing a robust build, averaging 60-65 inches in height, natural cave dweller, having the capacity to develop rudimentary tools for the purpose of hunting and construction.
Although thought to be extinct for at least 40,000 years, I believe the foundation and mechanical systems in our 30-year-old home were constructed and assembled by a crew of Neanderthals. Otherwise, how do you explain a basement height that averages just over seven feet, and 180 feet of concrete wall that boasts only two small windows? Fortunately, both windows are large enough to allow human access, albeit tight, but strategically undersized to prohibit entry to the raptor chasing them.
Posted by Chris Emard on Apr 13, 2021
After semi-successfully finishing our basement ceiling — with the term “semi” relating to the fact the plumbing and mechanical ductwork were modified in order to satisfy 98 per cent of society, unfortunately leaving those individuals above 76 inches in height with the choice of either declining entry to our new basement space, or equipping themselves with protective headgear, thoughtfully provided by ourselves at the bottom of the stairs — we’re moving on to the walls.
Posted by Chris Emard on Apr 20, 2021
What constitutes the perfect basement wall?
Answer: one that doesn’t have a puddle of water at its base. That’s what basically defines the perfect basement wall. Puddle at the base, not good. Dry at the base, perfect.
So, regardless of how your basement wall looks, be it plain concrete or some horrible 70s style panelling, if there’s no water penetrating through to the inside, especially during those periods of spring and winter thaw, then there’s little reason to look this gifted horse in the mouth. Your perimetre concrete wall is doing its job, and is therefore, perfect.
Posted by Chris Emard on Apr 27, 2021
Pooling or water infiltration history? Consistent water entry over the last eight years, usually occurring during periods of winter thaw, spring rains, rain accompanied by winds coming from the east, uncle Jeff urinating against the home at annual family gathering, and really any moisture-related substance falling within a few feet of our east-facing foundation wall.
Posted by Chris Emard May 04, 2021
The plumbing and mechanical systems have been modified or rearranged to create a living and head-room space more receptive to those winners of the genetic lottery, at least height-wise, with ductwork related concussions and general head injuries expected to drop by at least 20 percent.
Posted by Chris Emard Jun 01, 2021
Just to say, if you’re going to erect a structure, and your backyard deck falls into that category, ensuring things remain level and free of movement will mean planting its feet firmly in the ground. How deep do we dig? Although prevailing rains and wind turbulence are a whole lot more severe at 100 stories high, your deck will have one foe to be wary of, and its name is frost.
Posted by Chris Emard on Jun 22, 2021
What should be your deck’s essence?
Similar to the Seinfeld sitcom, it should be all about nothing. No curves, no separated side levels or balconies. No upper or lower levels. Build your deck as deep and as wide as possible, but most importantly, put it all on one level.
Posted by Chris Emard Jul 06, 2021
Although building codes can differ from municipality to municipality, deck platforms higher than two feet are going to require a spindle-and-railing system that’s at least 36 inches high. Once your deck, or balcony, rises six feet or more off the ground, you’ll require a railing system that’s at least 42 inches high.
Posted by Chris Emard Jul 13, 2021
To review, condition one is railing height, with your railing system needing to be at least 36 or 42 inches high, depending on how high your deck is removed from the ground. Two, baluster spacing, whereby the space in between your vertical balusters shouldn’t exceed four inches. And three, post strength, whereby the newel posts will need to withstand at least 200-plus pounds of lateral pressure without deviating more than an inch or so, basically the same stress it would have to endure should the fellow batting clean-up for your men’s keg league softball team happen to lean up against it.
Posted by Chris Emard Jul 20, 2021
For reasons dating back about 2,000 years, people tend to be a little sensitive when it comes to property lines. So, and because wars have been fought over boundaries, don’t just call before you dig, but just as importantly, know exactly where your property lines are before you dig.
Posted by Chris Emard Jul 27, 2021
You don’t need a permit or licence to play golf. However, there are laws to the game that say you can’t nonchalantly kick your ball out of the rough onto a better playing surface, even if your opponent isn’t looking. And, there are rules pertaining to etiquette, with guidance provided for those individuals prone to profanity, along with suggested coping mechanisms designed to help frustrated individuals in the habit of burying the head of their putters into the green after having failed to sink what was essentially a gimmie.
